Three Kisses
by Amarissia
Summary: In Daisuke and Kyousuke's relationship, there were three first kisses. DaiMao, one-shot, rated M just because.


_Here I have for you a one-shot DaiMao, exploring three first kisses throughout their relationship. As always, I don't not own or know DaiMao and this is all made up. No offense is intended._

_This one is for Mao. I'm really going to miss you, honey._

**THREE KISSES**

**The First Practice**

"Are you comfortable? Would you rather do this somewhere else?"

Hamao Kyousuke smiled, brightly albeit nervously. He had arrived at Watanabe Daisuke's apartment only minutes ago, and had already been asked if he was okay three times. He appreciated his senpai's ever-present concern, but this more intense level of it was new to him. During Tenimyu, Daisuke had never seemed to worry about him so much.

Of course, before now, he had had no reason to.

"Here is fine," Kyousuke said, and took the indicated seat on the bed.

"You're sure you don't want anything?"

"I'm sure, thank you."

Daisuke plopped down to face him, putting his script down next to the teenager's, and offered a reassuring smile and pat on the arm. He looked at Kyousuke with what seemed to be simple concern. Actually, he was worrying for both of them, wondering if he could get through this without getting physically aroused. He was thinking now what he had when he first saw the boy - he had never known it was possible for one person to be so beautiful.

_Not just "person." Minor, seventeen, hardly more than a child. God, I want to touch him, but he can never know._

"You sure you still want to do this?"

"Yes. We need to be convincing for the cameras."

"It's okay to be nervous," Daisuke said gently. "It won't hurt your performance. Takumi's a little scared too."

"I'm not scared of you. I just...don't know how to do this."

"It's okay, I've never kissed a guy either."

"Actually, I..." Kyousuke trailed off, looking embarrassed.

_Has he kissed a guy? Why does he look so anxious?_ Old worries rose up, old reasons he'd watched over the boy when they started the musical and had their castmates do the same - the way some of the crew had looked at Mao, the way eyes followed him on the street. Without thinking, Daisuke grabbed his shoulders, harder than he meant to, and let go cursing himself when Kyousuke looked startled.

"You _have_ kissed a guy? Did someone force you?"

"What?" Absolute confusion. "No, Buchou. Nothing like that. I just meant..." The voice went soft. "I've never actually kissed anyone."

"...what? Really?"

"That's weird, isn't it?"

"No, not at all. I'm just surprised."

Kyousuke shrugged. "Girls just never liked me."

_No girl wants to date a guy who's so much prettier than her, more like. Oh, God. I have to take his first kiss? Could I be any more of a creepy pedo?_

"Mao-kun, are you okay with me being your first kiss? That kind of thing should be with someone you like."

"I like you, Buchou. You've been a good friend."

_Damn it, why does he have to be so innocent?_ "I'm not going to traumatize you or anything?"

The boy laughed. "Not unless you're an awful kisser."

_That's better. Be comfortable enough to tease me._ "Hey, you'll eat those words when I make you weak in the knees," he joked back, prompting a shy smile. "I'm going to scoot over a little. First I want you to get used to me being close."

"Okay."

Daisuke edged nearer, until their knees were pressed against each other. He didn't say anything, just watched Kyousuke for signs of discomfort. But there was only apprehension, and wonder about this on his guileless face.

"Okay?" he asked after a minute.

"Uh-huh."

"I'm going to try touching you, not intimately, just over your clothes. You can tell me to stop at any time, I won't be offended."

"Okay..."

Daisuke laid a hand on one arm through the long sleeve, and waited, long enough to be reminded how small the younger boy was, shorter, doll-like in his appearance of delicacy. He knew Kyousuke was stronger than he seemed, though, and he appeared to be unfazed when the hand began to stroke the limb, up and down, soothingly. It slipped slowly to his side, and moved in the same way, coming to rest on his hip and rubbing a circle there.

Mao smiled nervously, and his cheeks held just the faintest tinge of pink. It seemed absurd that he was the first to touch such a stunning creature, despite the boy being underage, Daisuke thought. He felt so nice, so slender and warm, and when he lifted his hand up to stroke a blushing cheek, he had never felt anything as smooth and softly perfect as that skin. Kyousuke let out an apprehensive chuckle, but closed his eyes, relaxed a bit as though enjoying it.

_God, can I please kiss him now?_

Daisuke indulged himself under the cloak of his character, stroking the face with his fingers, the line of the jaw, then down to curl around the boy's nape and gently massage. Kyousuke cutely bit his lower lip but otherwise seemed calm, even when Daisuke moved close enough for his breath to be felt.

"Ready to try?" A nod in answer. "You don't have to do anything for the first. Just be still and see how it feels."

"Okay," Kyousuke whispered, eyes still shut.

Very slowly, the elder moved in, his gaze absorbing every delicately lovely feature. Without meaning to, he ran his thumb over the petal-soft pink mouth before gently putting his own against it. He left a chaste but lingering kiss, then another. He playfully brushed their noses together before drawing back, and regretfully let his hand fall away. Kyousuke blinked, then looked at him with a faint surprise.

"Your first kiss. How was it?"

"Nice. Thank you, Buchou," the boy whispered.

_Would you let me do this, if you knew it was for me more than Gii?_ "Can I do it again?" Daisuke asked, and briefly fancied he caught a hint of eagerness in the replying nod. _Yeah, in my dreams._ "Okay, this time I'm going to lightly touch you while I do it. Tell me if it's too much for you."

He met the faintly-moist lips again, pressing them several times as he curled an arm around the teenager's little waist. Kyousuke slowly, deeply inhaled, tilting his head instinctively. It was a good sign.

"Ready to try kissing back?" Hesitation before a nod. "Don't worry that you'll get it wrong. You'll know what to do. Just do what I'm doing, follow my lead."

The sweet mouth kissed him back, and despite his guilt, Daisuke's heart sang. This was nothing like kissing a girl, no flood of perfume and slippery lipstick, just softness and a clean herbal smell that made him want to bury his nose in the sleek black hair. He carefully drew Kyousuke a little closer and continued to kiss the reciprocating mouth. Despite the inexperience or because of it, he had never enjoyed this kind of touch so much. He pulled away only when he was seconds from losing control, and Kyousuke shyly looked down at his lap.

Daisuke gently nudged his chin up. "You did great. You're a natural."

The boy smiled with obvious relief. Daisuke lay his palm against a warm cheek, grinning himself as a rush of pure love filled his heart. He more than wanted to touch Kyousuke intimately; he wanted to hold him, protect him, look into his wide eyes every day. He wanted to be as indispensible to Mao as Mao was to him.

"It's not as strange as I thought it would be."

"Really? How so?"

"It was more comfortable than I expected. And I thought it would be wetter."

Daisuke chuckled kindly. "Well, what we're doing is pretty basic. When it's more passionate, it can get pretty wet."

"Do you think...Takumi and Gii will have to kiss like that?"

"Not for this movie, but if we do sequels, maybe."

"Then..." Kyousuke clammed up and looked bashful.

"What? It's okay."

"Um, nothing."

"Don't make me tickle it out of you, Mao-kun." The whole Tenimyu cast knew how helplessly ticklish their baby was.

"Don't! I just, it's really nothing."

Daisuke decided to take a chance and guess. "Mao, do you want me to teach you how to _really_ kiss, in case you need to know?"

Now he turned almost red. "Um..."

"I can. I don't mind." _Mind? I'll be lucky if I don't come in my pants._

"You...would?"

"Sure. This way you can learn from someone safe, and you'll know what to do in the future."

The boy glanced away, then nodded. Beneath his concealed joy, Daisuke felt a wave of guilt. He was tricking Mao, letting him think this was purely rehearsal. He was lusting after a boy nearly a decade his junior. He was putting his hands on a kid whom he could not legally be intimate with. And there his innocent Mao sat, willing, thinking this was a lesson and nothing more.

_Bury this guilt. Take this chance. Just, above all, never hurt or scare him._

Daisuke placed his hand back on Kyousuke's waist, lightly stroking it with his fingers, pretending he didn't want to undress the boy and touch him all over. His other hand went to a thin shoulder and gently squeezed it.

"Okay, when I kiss you, open your mouth when I open mine. I'm going to rub my tongue against yours. Just react instinctively. It will be wet, so you may have to swallow. Is that too gross for you?"

"No. I want to learn."

_Pedophile, pedophile, God Dai-chan, why don't you start cruising playgrounds while you're at it? SHUT UP, self, you're not helping._

"Pull away if you need to. I won't be upset."

Kyousuke tilted his head slightly up, and closed his eyes in wait. Daisuke leaned in and pressed a few slow kisses against his lips, then gently coaxed the mouth open. His tongue entered the cavern that willingly parted for him, and a slick organ shyly met it, fumbling cutely, unsure of what to do. Daisuke made them dance at a very relaxed pace, circling around it, clacking wetly against the teeth and gums.

Kyousuke was kissing him back, with little skill, but the taste of him was heaven, as clean and pure as spring water, no trace of the sugary foods he liked to eat, no sign of fear, just the adorable reticence he so often displayed. Daisuke stroked his cheek for a moment, then slid fingers into the black hair as fine as silk. He sensed the boy losing his balance, briefly and proudly wondered whether he himself was the cause, and put his arms around the teenager to hold him close. He never wanted this to end, but finally, reluctantly came up for air. Kyousuke smiled apprehensively.

"Did I do okay?"

"That was one of the best kisses I've ever had."

"Don't tease me, Buchou."

"No, really, you _are_ a natural. We'll look great on camera."

The boy smiled. "You're a good teacher, and kisser."

"Can I - "

It might have been for the best that Kyousuke's cell phone rang, because Daisuke couldn't keep desire out of his voice. "Sorry, Buchou," the boy said, and answered it.

"Aniki? I'm still with Daisuke-san. Um, running lines. _No_, don't be ridiculous, he's my friend. No, I'm not letting you be rude to him."

"He wants to talk to me?"

"He wants me to put him on speaker-phone."

"Go ahead, I don't mind reassuring him. Shinnosuke-san? If you're worried about Mao, I promise you, he's safe with me."

"You're just running lines?" the low voice said through the speakers.

"Yes."

"I know you have to...touch Kyou-chan when you film, but you better not do it any other time."

"Aniki!"

"I promise, Shinnosuke-san, I will never do anything that might damage him in any way." _But no way will I promise not to touch him._

"Kyou-chan, I expect you home within an hour."

"Okay, okay." Kyousuke stuffed the phone back in his pocket. "I'm so sorry, Buchou."

"Don't worry. Since meeting him, I understand why you dealt so well with our castmates being protective. You're used to it."

"He's always hovered."

_I'm sure he's had to._ "That's sweet. Mao, what's wrong?"

Kyousuke was staring downward. "Aniki didn't want me to take this role. Partly because of Takumi's brother, I think. It freaks him out."

A hand soothingly moved over his arm. "What about you? Can you handle it, if a scene about that comes up?"

"I think so. Thank you for being concerned about me, Buchou."

_I think I'm in love with you, Mao._

_daimaodaimaodaimao_

**The First Real**

Being Kyousuke's best friend was no consolation prize; it was a privilege, even though Daisuke continued to crave more through the shooting of _Niji Iro no Garasu_ and into the filming of _Bibou no Detail_. He felt immensely proud of the now-eighteen-year-old, who was growing, and not just in height. He never flubbed his lines anymore, no longer clammed up around other people, and best of all, he no longer shied away from kisses or tensed when his bare skin was touched. Whatever Dai and Mao were, Takumi and Gii were firmly a happy pair, and fast becoming one of the BL industry's power-couples.

Their friends openly and often joked that the two of them might as well be dating, considering the amount of time they spent together, how physical they were with each other, how protective Daisuke was. The elder laughed sportingly at this, teased interviewers about he and Kyousuke falling asleep in the same bed, and generally pretended he wasn't head over heels and pining.

At least he had Gii, who was allowed to be in love with Mao under the guise of Takumi. If this was all he could have, he would take it, savor every moment, every touch that no longer made Kyousuke blush. Some days were easier than others. On this particular day of shooting, Daisuke's older sister Hanako was visiting the set, squeeing happily over all the cute boys and in particular seeming to be quite taken with Takki.

Daisuke was avoiding her, because she knew him too well, saw through his ruses. So when Kyousuke needed to be found for a rehearsal, the elder actor immediately volunteered.

He wouldn't be hard to find. It was a beautiful, blue-sky day, and the Tokyo-born actor would be outside enjoying it. As Daisuke passed the small structure used for the old concert hall, he felt a brief warmth pooling in his groin. He was guiltily looking forward to the day after tomorrow, when he and Kyousuke would be acting out an intimate scene there. They had rehearsed it only a little, so it would seem spontaneous, and Daisuke was eager to put his mouth and hands all over that perfect body again.

As he rounded one of the equipment trucks, he caught sight of the young actor, conspicuous in Takumi's green and white hoodie. Kyousuke was standing in the sunlight, smiling gently at a large butterfly that was sitting in his cupped hand. Daisuke wasn't surprised - Mao loved animals of all types and vice versa - but the beauty of this sight made his heart ache, and his feet feel like lead as he headed over.

"Dai-chan, look. Isn't it pretty? It's not even afraid of me."

_I was afraid of you, once, of the control you drained out of me like water from a pitcher. Now I just love you, and I don't want to scare you, but I don't know how much longer I can keep this inside._

"Buchou, do they need me? I lost track of the time."

_I want to hold you. I want to keep you safe in my arms from every bad thing, to make sure you smile every day for the rest of our lives. Would you hate me if you knew? Would you be afraid of me?_

"Dai-chan, what's wrong?"

Daisuke shuffled closer, unusually close, even for them, staring almost mournfully. The butterfly, sensing danger at last, fluttered up and out of sight. Kyousuke pouted playfully.

"You scared it away."

"I'm sorry, Mao."

"It's all right."

"No, I mean I'm sorry for this."

Quickly but gently, Daisuke put his arms around the younger and pulled him close. Kyousuke barely had time to blink in surprise before a hand behind his neck urged him forward, and a skilled mouth was against his. It opened and the boy's instinctively did the same, and though he made a questioning noise at the entering tongue, Kyousuke made no effort to get away.

Instead, he kissed back, tentatively wrapping arms around the strong shoulders, melting into Daisuke as their tongues explored each other. A soft moan escaped the boy, and the elder groaned back with pleasure. Kyousuke was pressed fully and sweetly against him, must have felt the erection beginning to nudge his leg, and yet his only response was to sway in rapture, to continue the kiss as he was protectively held upright.

His hands wandered a little down Daisuke's back, feeling the muscles and athletic build. Fingers lovingly stroked the boy's cheek, cradled his face as it tilted to allow better access, the deepest kiss either of them had ever experienced. Thinking it might be their last out of character, Daisuke kept it going until they had to break apart and gasp for air. The moment of truth had come...

...And there was no anger, no fear. Kyousuke was blinking at him with wide eyes and invitingly wet and slightly swollen lips. He made no attempt to shrug off the arms still around his waist, and examined his senpai's sad smile searchingly.

"...Gii?" he murmured, like a scene from the movie.

"No, Mao. Me."

"I don't understand."

"Takumi wouldn't, maybe, but baby, I think you do."

More blinking. A glistening tear emerged from one eye and streaked down the flawless face, and miserable panic rose up in Daisuke's throat.

"I'm sorry, Mao, I shouldn't - I won't - nothing has to change, just please - "

"Kiss me again," the teenager whispered breathily.

"Eh?"

"I thought you were being Gii all this time...but do you...does this mean...Dai-chan, I've been hoping so long, I..."

Daisuke brushed away the tear, and a second, and a third. "I love you, Mao, I always have. If you're okay with that, please don't cry."

A radiant smile. "Okay? I just want to stay in this moment forever."

"Wouldn't you prefer a moment when I'm kissing you?"

"God, yes."

Kyousuke took the initiative this time, pushing himself closely as possible to Daisuke and claiming his mouth. Hands were all over him, stroking his skin through clothes, experimentally squeezing, exploring him with a fervor never before dared. He was being devoured, but devouring, equals in a way that damaged Takumi and aggressive Gii had not yet, at least, become. Then -

"Dai-chan! What are you doing to that child?!"

They sprang apart in alarm. Pretty Hanako was striding toward them, one hand on a hip, outraged expression.

"Neesan - "

"Don't you 'neesan' me. And don't tell me you were just practicing, you were all over him. What are you thinking, going after a barely-legal boy?"

"Hanako-san, I wanted him to," Kyousuke politely insisted. "He wasn't hurting me."

"Neesan, do you think so little of me? I've been in love with Mao for years and never touched him until now. How could you - "

Shocking them both, she laughed. "Dai-chan, you idiot, I was teasing. I've known how you felt probably longer than you have, and if this means what I hope it does, I'm happy for you. You guys make a beautiful couple."

"...What? You - "

"You're so easy to fool." Hanako gave Kyousuke a soft smile. "Take good care of my little brother, okay?"

Kyousuke glanced at Daisuke, shyly and loving. "As long as he'll let me."

"I'm going to go stare at Takki-kun's ass. Take another minute, you two, then get back to work. Your adoring public awaits."

They both felt, as she flounced off, like they had dodged a bullet, come through their first obstacle as a couple. Kyousuke smiled adoringly as Daisuke went back to him, touched his waist and drew him close again.

"She called us a couple, Dai-chan."

"Yeah. Can we be?"

"I love you too," Kyousuke whispered, and leaned into the hand that caressed his cheek.

"We can't be public yet," Daisuke said regretfully. "Not with your age and me being a guy and you starting to become more than Takumi. Your manager will have a fit."

"But we can be together?"

"I want to be more than anything. Can you handle it?"

"You've always worried about me," Kyousuke said softly, pressing their foreheads together. "I always wondered why. And the answer is just what I hoped for."

_daimaodaimaodaimao_

**The First Public**

"Places. Rolling."

"Action."

"Mina-san, konban wa." Bowing slightly over the desk he sat behind, 22-year-old Kyousuke tried to speak clearly through the lump in his throat. "Thank you for joining me for this special broadcast. I know you're all wondering what I wanted to talk to you about, so I'll get right to the point. First, though..."

His vision went blurry, and he blinked away the tears. He wanted nothing more than to hide in the arms of the man who was standing just off the set, probably in agony to see his boyfriend so upset.

_Hold it together, hold it together._

"First, I want to thank all my wonderful fans for the support and love and encouragement you've always given me. You've been the best thing about my career, and I care so much about each and every one of you. I want you to know that I have not made this decision lightly, and that I'm so sorry for the sadness it will cause you."

The boy took a deep, shaky breath. "Effective beginning in February of next year, I will be retiring from the entertainment industry. I will be finishing up all the projects I signed on for, and possibly take on one or two more, but after those, I will not be appearing on TV, stage, or films any longer. Which means...we won't be seeing each other."

Kyousuke rubbed away a fallen tear. "I know this may seem sudden, but I've actually been considering it for a long time. I've greatly enjoyed the work I've gotten to do over the last seven years, and having fans like you has been an honor I will never forget. But to be honest, I've never been fully comfortable with fame and with the attention I receive.

"I don't mean any of you have behaved wrongly toward me. I've had so much fun meeting and hearing from you. I just miss being a private person, a person who can walk down a street without being stared at, a person whose life and business is only his own. Also, in all honesty, I've been pressured to live and behave in a way that's become too uncomfortable to bear."

Also off-set, Kyousuke's manager Suzuki had the decency to look slightly remorseful, in addition to his sulking about losing his most promising star.

"I'm also concerned about the ephemeral nature of success in the entertainment industry. My family and I think it wise for me to go to university and study for a career that will be long-lasting. I assure you, no one has put any pressure on me, and this is entirely my own decision. I just wish - "

Here he became choked up, and looked down. Tears dampened the speech he had written and was ignoring.

"I wish there was a way to do this without making you sad. I'm also sorry for crying. I just keep picturing your faces, and wishing I could make you smile. I would like to say you can keep in contact with me through my blog, but I think a clean break would be best for all of us. Perhaps in the future I'll blog again, but for at least the time being, I will be a private person like I used to be. I ask you to please respect this decision. I'm so..." He choked on the words. "I'm sorry. I'm so...sorry..."

"Hey, out of the shot."

"Keep rolling!"

Blurry movement, someone pulling him out of his chair, and Daisuke's spicy scent, the familiar warmth of arms around him. Kyousuke pressed his wet face into his lover's neck and let himself be held. Lips found his, kissed them to comfort.

"Should we - "

"Keep rolling, until Hamao-kun says to stop. We can always edit it."

"Dai-chan..."

"I've got you, Mao. Are you really sure about this?"

"I can't keep avoiding you on camera, and pretending you're nothing but my friend. I want us to be public more than I want to act. This is the only way."

Fingers brushing his cheek. "I think they'll get the gist. Let me take you home."

"Hamao-kun," a producer said as they walked past, "what would you like us to do?"

"Air it, just as it is."

"Idiot!" Suzuki seethed, approaching the couple. "You've probably ruined his last few months with that stunt."

"You're one to talk," Daisuke said coldly. "You're the reason Mao is quitting, and don't think I haven't seen the way you look at him, you fucking pervert. If I suspected you ever tried to touch him, you'd be dead."

"How dare you!"

"Dai-chan," Kyousuke whispered.

"Sorry, baby. Come on."

It was bright outside in the sunlight, surreal, not least because they were holding hands on the busy sidewalk. It was their first time in public. It would not be the last.

**THE END**

**For the record, I know absolutely nothing about Dai-chan's real sister and Mao's real manager. Their characters here are entirely made up.**

**Also, I don't know the exact content of Mao's farewell announcement, so what's here is my own invention. I've only seen a partial translation, and that was after this was written, so I hope someone does a full one.**


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